It doesn’t have to be the end of your long-term relationship
For some people, their partner’s infatuation with someone would automatically mean the end of the relationship for others. They believe that when the person they love develops feelings for another person, it is a red flag. But that doesn’t have to be the case, says a neuropsychologist.
1. Don’t Panic
It can be scary when you’re in a committed relationship and you start to develop feelings for someone else. You and your partner may not be as in love as when you first met, and some of the passion may also be gone. And when you meet someone you can laugh and talk to, it can be exciting enough to lead to a small crush. Or a big one.
But that doesn’t mean your relationship is over. Neuropsychologist Nawal Mustafa says it’s perfectly normal to sometimes fall in love with someone who isn’t your partner.
Researchers found that 69.9 percent of women in romantic relationships are committed long-term, they fell in love with people who were not their partners. This means that if you are or have been in love with another person, it is completely normal. And you still don’t have to worry about your current relationship.
Your innocent crush will only become a threat to your relationship if you act on it.
So there’s really nothing to do but wait. If you don’t put the time or energy into this crush, it will disappear as quickly as it appeared. And your relationship will be as strong as it was before it was deterred by a passing desire
3. What does it mean when you have a crush?
In general, a crush, if only that, is harmless and doesn’t necessarily indicate an underlying problem in the relationship. “Being in love doesn’t mean a person wants out of the relationship they’re in,” Marriage and Family Therapist in Portland, Oregon. But if you choose to feed this swarm, there’s probably a reason you’re doing it. It could be something you are struggling with on a personal level (ex., has a history of self-sabotage when things get serious) or maybe you’re just trying to scratch an itch that your current relationship isn’t fulfilling.“People regularly communicate approximately the wishes of fanatics that are not being met in a devoted relationship,”
“For example, the relationship has become routine or boring, but her interactions with her crush are fun and exciting. Or your partner has no interest in movies, but your crush loves movies and wants to talk about them all the time. Perhaps you are feeling smothered by your current partner and are looking for an escape route. Or maybe you’ve gone through a rough patch in your relationship where you and your partner aren’t connecting or communicating openly.
In other cases, the crush may be an attempt to make your partner jealous or to get them to pay more attention to you when you’re feeling neglected. “Relationship deficits, whether temporary or permanent, could make falling in love seem a lot more appealing,” Howes told us. Rodman recommends that you spend a little time thinking about why you like this particular person. It may have more to do with you and your family or relationship history than the person. “For example, a woman in love with an older man who is an authority figure may yearn for a parent’s approval, or a socially anxious man who has a crush on an outgoing co-worker may need help from a more outgoing one to fantasize about the woman I could be more confident,” she told